Instant Rimshot

When a chuckle just doesn't suffice...

InstantRimshot.com

Things I want said at my funeral

"He was an excellent father to me."
-Former Heisman Trophy Winner and President of the United States

"What a great friend and confidant."
-150-year-old Hugh Hefner

"I guess we'll have to give this award posthomously."
-The Nobel Prize Committee

Other Names Gnarls Barkley Considered

Snarls Barkley
Quarells Barkley
Charles Sparkly
Faux Montana

Grammer Nazi

A special thanks to Happy Happy Kevin Kukamunga for the photoshop skills.

I want to buy a bike shop so I can name it Menstrom Cycles.

Cougar Hunter

I went out with a married friend of mine from work a couple weeks back. Long story short, he was all over an older chick. Come Monday, I posed to him the following question: how old was she? Here is his reply.

we have nothing to talk about.

at least the bs i was up to was blatantly for (alcohol-induced) sport. to answer your question, 50 or 60. i didn’t make her year, i made the her next 10 . and, for the record, i didn’t take off my ring and flat out told her i was married and was just talking. i went out of my way to make it clear i was just f%$#ing with someone, whereas one (not me, of course) could make the argument that your crush on the brown-haired cutie was a little more insidious. neither of us deserve a gold star for friday night. as is i feel like an amazing jackass, comforted though i am that it was just for sport. but no harm, no foul. my concern here is that this bit of info eeks out next happy hour: i would not want jason (etc.) to know, as our wives regularly base their decision to hang out on whether the other is present.

xoxo,

[Name Redacted]

Hey everybody, I made a Muxtape!

If you have yet to hear about Muxtape, it is a site where you upload MP3s to make your very own digital mixed tape of sorts that you can share with anyone you wish. So, if you've ever wondered what my music tastes are (and let's face it, who hasn't), you can sample my Muxtape here.